HUMOUR: Investment tips for 2004

This was passed my way by one of CTV's business editors:
2004 could be the year to get in on the ground floor of these mergers, sure
to be big money-makers:

  • Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace
    Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

  • Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and
    become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

  • 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.
  • Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
    and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

  • FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
  • Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell
    Honeychild.

  • Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
  • Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
    Knott NOW!

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