Found this at a blog maintained by an exec producer at NECN
THE LAW OF BREAKING NEWS
Breaking news” is usually neither.
COROLLARY TO THE LAW OF BREAKING NEWS
Breaking news will exceed your “breaking news” line item in the budget.
RESTATEMENT OF THE LAW OF BREAKING NEWS, with respect to MURPHY
When there actually is breaking news, it will happen when you are on skeleton staff.
THE LAW OF NEWS CONSPIRACIES
Those who believe there is a “giant media conspiracy” have never seen three producers try to agree what to get on a pizza.
COROLLARY TO THE LAW OF NEWS CONSPIRACIES
The media are not right-wing, left-wing, pro-choice, pro-abortion, pro-gun, anti-war or any other such nonsense. We are pro-leaving-work-on-time and very pro-heading-to-the-bar.
THE WRITING ASSIGNMENTS PARADOX
Those who can't write are assigned to write the most.
PARKINSON'S LAW, RESTATED FOR NEWS
Your breaking news coverage will always exceed the “breaking news” line item in the budget.
FIRST AND SECOND LAW OF PRODUCING. AND THIRD LAW.
Nobody will ever be satisfied with your show. Including you.
LAW OF REPORTING
Producers will always give you 15 seconds less than you need to tell the story.
RESTATEMENT OF THE LAW OF REPORTING
Reporters will always take 15 seconds more than they need.
THE ENG LAW OF CONSERVATION OF ENERGY
You can have a sat shot, a microwave, a fiber feed and a newsroom live: you just can't have all of them right now.
THE THREEFOLD LAW OF NEWS EXPERIENCE
You will never get done paying your dues. You will always think your managers are nuts. You will never work in a market you can afford to live in.
NEWS WEBSITE CHAOS THEORY
Every department in your station will want more space on the front page.
THE “VIEWERS ARE OUR CONSULTANTS” POSTULATE
You can't affect change at your station. But if you send an anonymous email to the station suggesting the same change, it will occur.
PRODUCER'S PARADOX
No matter how well you time a show, it will always be 25 seconds heavy.
THE SECOND PRODUCERS PARADOX
Despite that, you will get off on time.
THE ACCU-FORECAST 3001 RESTATEMENT OF PARKINSON'S LAW
A weather report will expand to fit the time allotted.
THE “BALANCED NEWS” PARADOX
Equally distributed quotes from both sides do not a balanced report make.
AVERY'S RULE OF THREE, REDEFINED FOR NEWS
Famous deaths always come in threes.
THE FIRST OBSERVATION OF THE NEWSROOM
Everyone in news is a procrastinator.
NEWS JOBS FIRST IRONY
By the time the job is posted on a stations website, someone has it.
HEISENBERG'S UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE, APPLIED TO NEWS
The time between an employee's hire, and their complaint they are underpaid, is too small to be measured accurately.
THE LAW OF NEWSROOM EQUIPMENT
If it breaks, we own it.
NEWSROOM SICK DAY THEOREM
People will use precisely the number of sick days allotted.